Living in America as a Korean...

Today, the class that I'm TAing had the second exam. After that, the professor and I worked together to share same ground for the grading. We graded four exams separately, and compared them later. Except two cases, the gradings matched perfectly. The professor was much satisfied with that.
In doing it that, he and I talked about small personal things. Suddenly, he closed the door of his office where we were together, and began to talk lowering his voice. He is a senior white professor, and I felt there is no reason for him to talk to me like that. It was a little bit strange until I heard what he said.
He said that everyone in my department, not only professors, but also graduate students and the staff members, are concerned--or nervous--about my working as a TA. He said that they are keep talking about me, and that they continue to ask him if I am doing OK. He explained that because my department has never employed non-Americans and non-Europeans as TA before, everyone feel very awkward about it. The graduate adviser keeps asking him about my performance, the graduate coordinator whispers to him about me, and students keep talking negatively about me...
Essentially, what he wants to say was that he is the great supporter of me, and he is saying that he is perfectly satisfied with me. He even convinced the graduate adviser, the one who hires TAs, that I am a good TA. He said, "Even if someone cuts me in the back later, don't think I had a bad opinion about you. I'm doing my best to protect you." The fact that they are keep talking in my back means that I may not be hired in the Spring session, for which I am hired conditionally.

Even before he talked to me, I felt that every one in my department was watching over me. I knew that because, in my department, I'm the only one whose mother tongue is not English. In my major, English is the most important element, and even the American graduate students suffer from high pressure to speak and write "best English."
Living in America as a Non-English native speaker is living with a huge stigma on your forehead, "Inferiority." Particularly, in the department whose members are almost all American whites (95%), you are a second-class citizen with whom you never want to have close contact. I know that my case is extreme, but it's not abnormal. It's what most people from abroad, particularly those whose English is not as good as Americans, more or less, experience. It's America.

However, I'm not disappointed with that because I just don't care. I believe that it's not my department--not the graduate adviser--but God who had me work as a TA. It's not their decision, but God's. If God wants, then I can work. If He doesn't, then I can't. It's very simple. The hostile situation is nothing to me. It doesn't make me wavered.

But, still, it makes me feel bitter. I feel that I'm not in the right place...